About a year ago, I typed “Shibari” into Spotify because I needed something better to tie people to than my liked songs — which are basically 80s music, Metallica, and the Little Drummer Boy.

A playlist called Chiara Shibari popped up. I used it for the next year with absolutely no idea Chiara was an actual human being.

Then I found Julieta Chiara on Substack and had the very mature realization: Oh shit. It’s her.

Julieta is a submissive mentor and Shibari master who’s been in the kink lifestyle for ten years. We get into what kink changed for her outside the bedroom, why being sexually met is very different from simply having good sex, and why dominance can be an incredibly vulnerable thing for men to explore.

We also talk about shame, submission, consent, power, rope, what it means to feel fully accepted by another person, and why Julieta sees kink less as something broken people do and more as a way to play with parts of ourselves we don’t usually get to explore.

Then we get into containment — what it actually means to be with someone who can handle all of you — and why Julieta’s experiences in kink have become one of the closest things she has to spirituality.

And then, naturally, we end up talking about God.

If you’ve ever had a desire you couldn’t explain, judged yourself for wanting, or tried to make smaller so somebody else would be more comfortable — this one’s for you.

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👉 Men, come train with us in The UNcivilized Nation

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Connect with Julieta:

Website
Instagram
Substack

Connect with Traver:

Website
Substack
Instagram: @traverboehm
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